Happy Birthday Jackson

Went to San Jose to celebrate Jackson's birthday. He has a really big family! 4 sisters and 3 brothers. 8 of them in total! And he's the youngest.. lolz... Poor kid, got bullied by all the older siblings after cutting the cake. Hahhaz

Felt really out of place at first coz everyone there was a family member and everyone was vietnamese... so i didn't really understand most of the conversation. Lolz... but they turned out to be really cool people. And they all thought I was Billy's classmate! They thought I was a high school junior... =.=... I'm actually older than all of them

After dinner, we all went out to play bowling. Haven't played for a long time, almost every other ball went in the gutter.. =P but everyone had fun. Then we went to Quickly for a drink before heading back.

Back home, one of the older brothers Binh was asking me about Buddhism because he doesn't believe in it and so went started talking about everything, about the philosophies, the teachings, about the gods, and of course, about ghosts.. and again... nobody dared to go back to sleep after... and so we all crammed in the living room. Lolz... I guess I can consider a career in story telling... Lolz....

But it was really nice hanging out with them. We talked from 10pm till 4am in the morning and Binh was saying that the last time he ever talked to anyone that long was a year ago when he first met his gf... lolz.... I guess i'm just really talkative..

They said its a real pity that we just got to know each other well, and then I am leaving... but i guess, at least the acquaintance has been made, and that in the future, i'll always know that there's another family for me in the states...=)

My companion

He has always been by my side,
Ever since i was 17.
I remember meeting him at a show in san jose back in 2002.
And when we first met, I knew that he was the one...
Together, we travelled cities after cities,
drove to rivers, mountains, lakes and oceans.
He even saved my life once, when I got into a really bad accident,
And throughout all these 8 years, he has never left my side...

And yesterday, my sister put him up for sale on the internet without me knowing... >.<
He is my car...

When I first bought him, I was congratulated by the dealership for being the 1st owner in USA to own that model as I got him straight out of the car show.

Now someone has responded and is offering a reasonable price...
I have no choice but to leave you...
I'll miss u... 5AUA514....

Step by Step

I have always wanted to be there for my family and friends,
to lend a shoulder to cry on when they're down,
to lend a listening ear for their troubles,
to just be there, and let them know that it's all gonna be alright,
But sometimes, I just don't know how...
And sometimes, I get lost in transition myself...

I'm like the mud bodhisattva entering a river,
in his attempt to save another, he gets washed away...

Over these past few days, I have been given many advice and words of wisdom... here are some that I feel are really true, and i shall hold to them to last my days through as I go back... (Don't remember the exact words, but this is the gist of it that i got)

For every two steps that you take forward, it is ok to fall one step back.
It is better to progress slowly in this way, than to race all the way to the top and ignore the foundation and then suddenly fall. That fall will be far worst.
You should take the time to see the world, only then in the later years, your heart will be at ease... for u would have seen it all by then, and its really not that different... (Dm Tsung)

There is no need to choose one or the other. Life is not just black or white. How much of it is yourself? And how much of it is from the expectations of society? You must always remember to stay true to your heart and conscience. Be sure that you are living life for yourself, and not because others want you to live it in a certain way. Do things that helps others, that gives back to the world, and I believe you will find happiness... (Rev. Heng Sure)

Cupertino

Met my sister Jolyn at cupertino today. Apparently, DeAnza released her transcripts late and UCSD denied her admissions... So she is in sort of the same status as her brother now... which is... no status...
Helped her to pack some of her stuff as well to send back home, and then she went to check out for schools around the area as I went about checking for car dealerships willing to buy my car.. Sob sobz...
Had dinner with her at Chipotle and we were commenting about why there are no Burrito stores in Singapore! Mayb i should start one... lolz... Finally headed back to pacifica after.

Goodbye speech

Went back to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas for the Guan Yin Session on Saturday... And everytime I go there, it always fills my heart with happiness to see all the familiar faces light up and break into smiles the moment we meet. The hugs and warm welcome also makes me feel so much at home and makes going up to the city my greatest joy in living in the united states...

Met Rev. Heng Sure last night too, and when he heard the news, we arranged an immediate meeting today to talk things through.... I thank you for spending so much time with me, for the concern, and the guidance all these years... I know that it will be best for me if I stay in the states... but I somehow feel that I have to go back... to settle some things in my heart... before I'm ready to take the next step in life...

Had a good talk with Dharma Master Tsung earlier in the day as well. Thanks for understanding the situation and supporting my decision. I shall look forward to you coming to Singapore soon, and shall count on you coming to hunt me down if i ever run away from cultivation.

To all my precious brothers from the Boy's School, to Andrew, Billy, Jackson, Charlie, Tommy, Joe, Ali, Steve, Jim, Tim, Nevin, Jacky, Bill, Alex, Victor ... I'm so sorry to break such sad news to you guys... you guys have been the source of my happiness and it really breaks my heart to leave... but i somehow feel like i need to do it... I'm definitely gonna miss u all but for sure... whenever I can... I'll definitely visit! And make it feel as if I have never left...

Not to forget, my wonderful sister Julia! So sorry that this is such a last minute decision that we didn't even get to say bye in face... And my anime buddy Tammy! And of course... Felix... I won't forget you! Lolz..

And to Sunny and Weiyu... I'll most prob see you 2 in Singapore

Hope I didn't miss out on anyone... =P

Its really tempting to just give up the idea of going back to Singapore... but I think I shouldn't flicker too much with my decisions... my heart feels like it is something that I should do, thou it may not be in my best interests... And in DM Tsungs words, I should go out and see the world first... only then will I be satisfied in my later years... That is why i have decided..

Friends for Life

Article
Read this Article on the web today, about 4 different people and how their closest friend made a difference in their lives...
Friendship is a really wonderful thing...

After weighing the choices between SIngapore and USa, I've decided on SIngapore... And now I'm faced with another choice... 5 year full time or 7 years part time? With full time, i get zero income... with part time, i can work and study...

Choices, choices, choices... life's full of choices...
Depending on what you choose, your life steers differently...
Make one wrong choice... and 10 years down the road, you'll find yourself somewhere totally unfamiliar... this is the butterfly effect...

I think I'm going to leave for the mountains... 上山閉關修行...
Maybe my mind will clear up better after that...
I'll return to civilization next week...

2nd presidential debate

THe 2nd presidential debate spoof on Saturday Night Life! Lolz... You gotta watch the actual debate 1st to understand it better... Hecka funny! hahaz. You probably can find the actual debate on NBC.com.

The Wind

I sometimes feel... like I am the wind...
Coming and going... Transient in nature...
Never settling in one place... Constantly moving...

A friend said that I'm more like a hurricane.
Coz where ever I go, I'm busy like hell.
I leave my "devastating" effects...
And then I move on....

"Life is short,
Break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably,
And never regret anything that made you smile."

Marriage proposal

Back to class today, and everyone heard that I was leaving and was so sad... And this was Andrea's response: "Are you telling me to marry you so that you'll stay?" Lolz... Although I said no then... here's my other answer: hell yeah... If I can have you as my wife... I'd definitely stay! Lolz.. Who wouldn't? But I know you were just playin... Thanks for baking the muffins thou, they were really delicious! =)

And thanks to Jill, Amanda, Anita, Ervina, Michelle, Lisa and Laurence for all the advise and opinions that you all have shared... I'm sooooo gonna miss you all... I didn't realize it until I met all of you again today... And thank you Andrea!!! Its the 1st time in my life that such a beautiful girl ever proposed to me... even if it was just for fun... I think i'm satisfied with my life for now! Lolz

How can anyone in their right mind ever bear to leave all you beauties and go back to Singapore and study with aunties? What am I THINKING!!! Sigh... but then again, I kind of need the option to be able to practice in Singapore in addition to USA. No matter what... my family's still in Singapore... I'm sorry dears....

After procrastinating for 8 hours in school, going back and forth from the Admissions office, I finally submitted my withdrawal form... Sobz Sobz... Can you hear my heart breaking? I'm so sad... Sad sad Sad!!!

Back to school...

Went back to school today to meet the administrators.... Can you believe it... its a monday and none of them are at work.. Some take off, some take MC... Managed to meet the admissions lady for a while, but then she said she has a slight headache... and the next thing I know, she took half day off too... Headache take panadol what.. where got take half day off one... =.=...

So I got nothing much done... and worst of all, on top of that, got a parking ticket for nothing! GHeez... What a big welcome back... Got back home at 5pm, was so tired, so I decided to take a short nap. Ended sleeping till 10pm... So not gonna be able to sleep tonight again... Its gonna be tough getting over this jet lag...

Scary world

Sheltered by monastery walls, I grew up thinking all was easy
Stepping out into the world, I was blown around by the eight winds...

Prority. When you make a choice, you give up another...
Life's all about choices...
How do you know that the choice you make will be the right one?
Knowing only after it has been made is too late...

I guess I can understand why hermits chose to be hermits
But I also understand why some people choose to drown themselves in the world.

I had the choice... to step back into the monastery walls... but will that be considered as escapism? I dunno...

I choose to return to the world... to live in the maelstrom of existence...
Now... I must prepare,
For the storm that awaits beyond...
awaiting for my arrival...

（蘇摩嚧波）
愛人不親顧其仁
禮彼弗答敬未真
迴光反照求諸己
感應道交莫迷神

back to the states...

Home.. my 2nd home. After a long plane and train ride, I finally arrived on the silent hill that I lived on for the past year. Everything is just as I had left it. The silence welcomes me back. In a way, it is really assuring, as it is never changing and always there. Yet in another way, the silence can be deafening, amplifying the loneliness at times...

This trip back is gonna be short, so I didn't intend for any send offs... But to those who still came... Thx for coming! =)
And Thx John Lim for the photos. =P

Painted Skin

Went to watch the "Painted Skin" with Gerald Tay this afternoon. Thought it was gonna be a scary ghost show, turns out to be pretty hilarious. Hahz... quite alot of really lame parts. But I must say, actress Zhou Xun looks really HOT! especially at the part where she reveals her demon form and has her face all painted white... lolz... I think i have a thing for demons.. lolz.. otherwise, maybe I just like really white faces... That's why, all the more so I should marry a Japanese! And have a traditional Japanese Wedding! So my wife can paint her face white white! Lolz...

Anyway, went for Samuel Teo and Eliza's Gig at SMU after. Managed to make it in time for their singing of "The Man Who Can't be Moved." My favourite song of their pick when I was there during their rehearsal. Way to go both of u! Glad I managed to make it to your very 1st public gig! =)

Met Jeffrey later for late dinner at Pasta Mania, and the to the Selegie Tofu place again. Had delicious you tiaos and dou hua. Then hung around Serangoon garden till about 1am. My last night in singapore... well spent! =)

US Vice Presidential debate

I think the VP debates went pretty well. At least it was more interesting than the 1st Presidential debate.

Gov. Sarah Palin is a really interesting character. Her impersonator is more so. Vote TIna Fey for VP! Lolz...

Pins and needles...

Brought my sister to the temple to have vegetarian food today. Came back home after and was feeling bored.. so I decided to play with my new acupuncture set given by Marcus and ALvin. Stuck my 1st needle into myself today! Used the point ST 36. Stuck the entire 1.5 inch needle in. My sister was just observing in horror by the side. It was painless. Quite cool thou.. hehehez... (Ok.. I noe most of you must be thinking that I'm a masochist now.. Lolz)

Day ?

I've extended my stay so much that I've kind of lost count of the amt of days that I've been in Singapore. Met up with Gerald for a swim in the morning. Well, more like a soaking in water session.. Lolz... then went to Chinatown to meet his schoolmates for another round of Ktv. Then met up with Jeff n Mingyang for dinner. Then desserts at this famous dessert place, then coffee at starbucks... Eating, eating, and eating again... lolz... SOooo gonna hafta start planning an exercise program soon. Got home passed midnight once again. But, had a fun day. =)

Muffinz!

Went to meet Samuel Teo today. You've put on weight! Lolz... but you look better this way. =) And we got to have the Delicious Muffins! Yes, that's what the store is called. Got to know of it when Sam brought me there last year. Glad its still there. And Sam Teo, you have a nice voice lah. You can consider being a singer! Lolz... Anyway, glad we got to meet up again! =)

Watched "Money No Enough 2" with my sister. Lots of laughs inbetween, but the storyline is actually really sad - about growing old... maybe what my grandparents say does hold some truth... living too long might not be a good thing... most impt is to live a full life...

Mirror

Went to watch the movie "Mirror" today with Edison and Jiaming. Slightly scary... extremely grotesque and bloody. Then we were joined by Weidong and Zhengrong for dinner. Hung around orchard till 8 plus before heading home, only to leave again to meet my aunts who came from the US. Ironic... but at least I got a cake to eat as it was Aunt Laysun's birthday. Was craving cakes earlier.. lolz...

Anyway, think this is a damn cute picture. Ed's in white and i'm in black. He's smiling while I'm frowning. Totally didn't plan it. Only realized it when the pictures came out.. Lolz...

Taoist rituals

So my dad told me to extend my stay... partly to discuss about sch, but mainly, coz he wanted me to go to his temple =.=...

Went to buy flowers for him and I was surprised the flower store lady knew me! Apparently I helped Dm Tsung at a summer camp in singapore abt 4 years ago and one of the kids was probably hers. Ok... its really a small small world...

Chinese folk taoism is a really interesting religion. With all the gods, mediums, customs and superstitions. Today was the day they receive the 9 emperor gods into the temple, by bringing their statues to the river and then carrying them back on sedans that rock violently once the spirit is believed to be in the sedan.

Its a grand affair, with decorated vehicles leading the way and all.

Day 15 - Recruitment

My supposed last night in Singapore. Apparently, there has been some changes... its complicating...

Went swimming with Alvin and his friends today, and we got recruited by the head coach! She wanted us to compete for her club! Hahz... we told her we can't swim that fast anymore. She insisted on getting our contacts and gave us one year to train. Said she'll call next year when competition time comes. Diez... must start training... =P

Went dinner with Jeffrey at Holland V., and coincidentally, Alvin was meetin another group of friends there. So we kept running into each other! And I finally got introduced to Xiao Mei! Used to always run into her and knew she was alvin's friend through his blog, but never approached her. Now I know her, so next time, I'd be sure to go up and say hi! Lolz