Mr. Driver...

Went to San Francisco to study at Milly's place today. She has a pretty chic house! There was a roof terrace that gives you a beautiful view of the city and the Bay! Managed to study quite a lot, but did lots of chatting too =P. Was gonna go shop later when I heard that Nicole was gonna take the bus and then the ferry back home. Yeah... she has to cross the bay.. sounds cool, but can be quite a chore (remembers tekong days... *shivers*... ) So I offered to send her back.

So drove all the way to Marin County across the Golden Gate Bridge and back. Seems like I've been driving ppl alot these days... lolz... Oh well... its to pass on all the times that others have done that for me.

Her house is really nice too! Its by a river where you can go canoeing or kayaking any time you want, and there's a big swimming pool and jacuzzi, and lots and lots of trees and sunshine! She has a room to rent and asked me several times if I wanted to move in... Sigh... i'm tempted...

Good Normal Human Conversation

Had been feeling pretty down the past few days, thinking alot and suffering from insomnia. Not only did I get insufficient sleep, but I also had bad rashes, a sprained neck and a swollen leg from running... Sounds like a bad day? Well... turns out to be a great day in the end!

With my condition thou, I signed up for a check up session at school after class and was seen by a teacher and 4 interns. 5 doctors attending to me... not bad! Lolz... They ended up sticking 9 needles into my head, 2 into my neck, 2 into my wrist, 3 into my legs... 16 needles in total.. Intense...

Got back home, thought I was gonna collapse from accumulated lack of sleep, but instead received a call from my pal Chris Zhao. He needed a ride home and couldn't find any... so... how can I reject a friend in such dire needs rite... before I knew it, I agreed to a 3 hour journey which normally would have killed my energy level. A miracle... I stepped out of my cave! Lolz... And furthermore, there was sunlight in Pacifica! A rare phenomenon indeed! =P

Despite the long journey, it was really great to meet an old friend again, and hold a good normal human conversation! By that, I'm referring to the kind where you talk on for hours without pause about anything and everything, not knowing what you are talking about, but at end still agree that it was a good conversation! Lolz! And by normal, I guess I mean by a conversation that has nothing to do with chinese medicine or philosophy of any school of thought or whatsoever! Just plain normal conversation! Its been a reaally reaaaallly llooooonnng time since i had that.

We had dinner at DiDa, a vegetarian restaurant in San Jose City. And the moment I sat down, the owner came and said to me: "Hey! You're from the ten thousand buddhas!" He's refering to Cttb, and wow, this place is like 200 miles away from Cttb... Small world indeed, and I guess what can I say? I'm known to vegetarain restaurant owners? Lolz... Maybe its due to my many years of watching the trash area that everyone who's been up there recognizes me... Lolz

Headed to Milpitas City after dinner to buy some bread and cakes from Sheng Kee Bakery. And becoz I got there late, they were having closing sale and Chris got a pretty good deal out of it! Lolz.. .And I found my Sun Cakes! The relative of Moon Cakes! Lolz! Been searching for them forever and these ones don't have Lard! Muahaahahz!

Continued on to Richmond City after that where we hung out till 10pm before his Dad came and I passed the baton to his dad for the rest of the journey to Sacremento as I returned to the City of Pacifica. So basically I drove round the entire Bay today! Lolz.. But I'm glad I offered the ride... It turned out to be a good healing for me as well...

烏雲解散，日光普照
踏出山莊，在入人間

The mist cleared, the sun shone through.
Stepping out of the mountains,
I entered the world again...
~jozhade

My son

To my son, hey... didn't mention your name doesn't me that I dun lurve u! Lolz... See! I'm dedicating one whole blog post to u! Furthermore, I'm doing it in the wee hours of the morning! Was almost gonna send u an sms had I not seen your tag on my blog. See... I got think of u de... Hahaz... damn cute lah u... hahaz... "bitebitebite" Hahaz... And yes... 2011... I promise! Lolz...

“山中何太冷 自古非今年 沓嶂恆凝雪 幽林每吐煙
草生芒種後 葉落立秋前 此有沈迷客 窺窺不見天”
(寒山)

The coldness of the mountains, is not just this year but from ages passed.
The crowded ridges are constantly frozen in snow, the dark forest all breath out mist.
Grass grows only after Spring, and leaves fall before Autumn.
Amidst a lost traveller wanders, searching vainly for the sky.

Another sleepless nite..

Couldn't sleep agian.. thinking about alot of things.. about why I choose to come back to the states... and whether it was the right decision or not... I get these once a while...

Anyway, think this song has every nice lyrics too... So since i couldn't sleep, decided to search for the translation.. here it is:

"kop koon gan lae gan"

(VERSE 1)
There are still many stories about love
Stop for a while and listen first, you will know that we don't walk alone
There are still other people on the various paths
The many paths that we take differently, to search for love to fill our hearts with

There are good memories of love
Some are happy with hopes fulfilled, others will make one cry
but those in return will make our hearts stronger
Till after a long time, it will also become the past
But every time we will think back of those times
We also wouldn't know how to be thankful for it

If our hearts had never once loved before
Our minds would probably not be as strong
And may not have the strength when we fall
If we don't believe in togetherness

(CHORUS)
If there is a song on the path we walk together
That only has voices of you and me
Then you and I shall never walk alone, anywhere
And if life is a melody
I wish you to be the lyrics to give it meaning
To touch my heart and give me strength to walk a long way

(VERSE 2)
Look at the paths hoping that someone will come along
The problem is, the wait goes on
And as time goes by the heart gets anxious
And if one day there is someone waiting to enter
Thinking that heaven probably won't make us sad
But it is not the right one, it cannot just be anyone
Then I can but only sigh deeply and plead

Whoever's up there to help me
I want a chance to love someone
I'm willing to trade anything for it
I only ask for an opportunity of togetherness

* CHORUS *

(VERSE 3)
Tired, tired to the point of sighing
Don't know when that we'll will have hope
Don't know when ...

Just only once, to experience it once
Even though it must be painful and has to hurt
At least I will know what love feels like
People will search for love, to see what it is like
Although attempts to reach the goal will sometimes end in tears
But bear the heartache, and wait for the day when we grow up

Be thankful, for a heart that has never experienced love
Will become useless after a long time
If there is anything to trade for it
I think togetherness is worth a lot to trade for

* CHORUS *

(OUTTRO)
There's a path for us to walk together
And there are voices of you and me
There's a path for us to walk together
And there are voices of you and me
For a long time
For a long time

Random mumblings

Alice came back today from visiting her family in Japan. And Yumiko was here too! Finally I get real human beings to practice my Japanese.. been practicing with my mirror all the while.. Lolz! But my Japanese has improved tremendously over the years! So much so that we could even hold the conversation entirely in Japanese! All thanks to my animes! Lolz... See... I wasn't wasting my time when I watch anime...

Lecture today was interesting.. we talked about the 5 major fears! They are:
1) 死畏: The fear of death
2) 無活畏: The fear of no livelihood
3) 三惡道畏: The fear of the 3 evil destinies (Hell, Hungry Ghosts, Animals)
4) 惡名畏: The fear of having a bad reputation (losing face)
5) 大眾威德畏: The fear of the assembly
So which is your biggest fear? Hehez...

Also talked about a story of one of the participants of veggie fest and how his family became vegetarians. They were having a holiday in Mexico, took the wrong turn, and entered a live slaughter house, and the whole family puked on the spot and immediately turned vegetarian! What a good vacation that was! Good for the animals! Lolz. If I see all those animals hanging with their innards out, I probably will puke and turn vegetarian too! wait... I'm already one.. Lolz... Oh wellz... Plus I guess i've seen worst.. in my human anatomy lab... Lolz...

Blank

Went down to meet Jinping as promised today... had known her for 5 years but never met her in person... So we arranged last night to meet up... Drove all the way down to Cupertino and guess what... she's not home. Wth... So after ringing the door bell a few more times... i left... hung around the area for another 2 hours before finally heading back to Pacifica... I hate being played out! The long drive back through the mountains gave me alot to think about... and seriously... I don't really know what am I doing with my life...

I have once a again reached a blank page in my life...
Holding my pen, and staring, I don't know what to write...
The next word I pen down shall steer the path I walk...
To stay, to stop, to step back? Or just keep walking on...

So anyway, got home, not sure what to do... So I took one of my shirts and cut it up.. lolz... it was too big anyway...Not bad huhz.. lolz... I started off with cutting my own hair... now I've upgraded to cutting my own shirts up too... lolz

Onions, onions, onions!!! Gyaaaah

Woke up this morning and found my loaf of bread finished with only the end piece remaining, and my bottle of peanut butter jelly empty! Gah!!! Still don't know who the culprit was... On the way to sch.. a "blind" driver almost hits me despite driving in broad daylight... bad start...

The end of the day... hmmm... questionable.. One of my housemate and his friend had cook dinner for the whole house and because he had invited me to eat several times, which I politely turned down coz it wasn't vegetarian, this time he had specially made vegetarian... So i said ok... and guess what... it was rice cooked with onions, beans fried with onions, and salad with fresh onions! Brazilian cuisine =.=...Gyaaahh... As i felt bad turning him down again... I had a little since it was out of good intentions... bad idea... stomach's churning now... tooo much onions! I hate onions.... But I guess it was nice to hang out once in a while... I stayed on to chat for a while more before finally retreating into my cave...

The Natrix

Found this ole video that was created from the "genius" of my cousin, Ben Power... Lolz... Created in 2001, basically featuring cousin Natasha Soen as the main character with her brother Andrei and myself playing out parts of the matrix in the basement of our aunt's house... so cheezy... lolz...

Brain Fried

Spent the whole day frying my brains yesterday... u know... with sesame oil, white pepper and abit of soy sauce.. yeah.. lolz... Studying was miserable... Test today... Herbology went really well... but fundamentals just adds to the misery... Oh well.. no time to gloom over badly done tests... More test in a weeks time.. and then... finals in 2 weeks... time flies...

Grandma's Birthday

Went for my Grand mother's 74th birthday celebration yesterday. It was fun meeting all my relatives again, and as usual, making fun of my vegetarianism, but after that all my cousin's added "Don't you just miss us Jonathan?" I was like... what!? miss getting made fun off? Lolz.. but in actual fact, yeah, i guess it was nice meeting everyone again and laughing together as a family. My grandmother has 20 grand children, and 10 of us are over here, the other 10 in Singapore. Evenly split. Lolz.

And as always, whenever there are family gatherings, the "question" always pops out: "so Jonathan, have you got a girlfriend yet" =.=... sigh... why do they always have to ask that... Hmm... its not that I don't want to have a girlfriend... its just that I haven't met a person whom I will want to be with in that status. I don't wan to just search and settle for anyone just becoz everyone else has a gf and I don't. Hmmz... my ideal gf will be young and beautiful and sweet, not too reserved, but not hyper and crazy too. Someone who respects my space and most importantly, whom I can connect to. Someone who is able to put a smile to my face everytime I see her message appear on my phone. Who will make me look at my phone everyday, waiting for her message to come... Kind of like someone whom, when I see her for the 1st time, I will know that she is the one! Lolz... Sounds like some movie or anime situation again? Oh wellz... probably thats why i haven't met that someone... Lolz

But i'm in no hurry to meet a special someone... why must there be only one? There is a whole world out there to love. Plus I think in my life currently, I have more than enough love than I could ever ask for... Especially from all my bros and sis... like on saturday, billy and jackson told me that they wished I was their real brother... Its really honoring for me, when someone says that.. And Charlie and Tommy once told me that too... I guess thats why currently in my life, I'm pretty satisfied... But you know, as secular culture promotes... more is better... lolz... so if i can get to meet a special someone, I wouldn't mind either... lolz... but I guess... i'm in no rush for that... its all good... all good...

Saturdays are always Berkeley Monastery days... We got there in time this morning for the Universal Door Chapter ceremony followed by yet another extremely delicious meal! All the food was cleared! PLus there was surprisingly alot of people there today. The whole berkeley community, drby, and all the kids. Thought I could study by staying at the monastery after, but ended up accompanying Billy and Jackson. Brought them to starbucks where we got caramel Frap, Mocha mint and Banana chocolate, and we came out with this system where we kept switching cups after each sip so everyone gets to taste each drink.. lolz.. Got back to the monastery around 7 and all the dinner was eaten up... so we went out again and I got sushi for us 3 to share. So thou I didn't get to study much, I guess it was a good time spent with my 2 cute little brothers

Ullambana

Stayed over at Andrew's last night and headed over to the monastery this morning for the Ullambana Ceremony. The ceremony commemorating Maha Mauglyana's filial piety to his mother. A famous chinese story - 目連救母. It's also the day where we make offerings to the monastery to support it. Following that, went to Emeryville to provide our "helpful" commentaries to Tammy as she buys clothes and supplies for school. Then it was back to Andrew's house for more chilling out. Managed to get some studying done as well... and of course... the good food as always... its dangerous...

Points class

As expected... did'nt do as well in my points class... A- ... haiz.. sobz sobz... Lolz.. OK... another 2 exams next tuesday... wave after wave... sooner or later I'm gonna go crazy! Lolz... I need a break.. a long long break... In points class later, had to locate points on the spine. Everyone had pretty regular spines, but my partner couldn't detect my spinous processes... the teacher came and said my spines were uneven.. sobz sobz... So there you go... my back... notice some are unevenly spread out, esp the transition between the red and green... yeah... i'm weird... lolz

Studied in school 8 straight hours today... Burnt out... Headed to Andrew's place after to meet up with Felix as promised.. lolz... Just spent the night playing piano, watching olympics and eating! of course... eating... Hehe..

Movies...

Ok, so apart from studying and animes, I recently start on watching movies too... lolz... Never really had the habit until this new anime website that I go to also recommends movies and that was how I got started... Diez... another distraction to add to my list... So, these are the onez I watched within this week... there's japanese, korean, thai and chinese... lolz:



Pic 1: Virgin Snow
Nice Korean-japanese love story with the typical falling in love then losing contact and then many years later, coincidentally bump into each other again. Korean and Jap dramas tend to have that alot... and this is the combination of both! Lolz..

Pic 2: King and the Clown
2 jesters who mock the king in the streets manages to save their head by jesting the king's court and making him laugh. However, one of the jester played by Lee Jun Ki happens to be a pretty boy and the king got confused and falls for him and then drama unfolds... Its kind of freaky how they made him look so much like a girl, but I must admit that thou Lee Jun Ki's a guy... in that movie he really looks prettier than alot of girls... lolz...

Pic 3: Onmyouji
Evil priest vs good priest. Evil priest summons Angry god, good priest summons goddess. Good priest win... A movie about the famous historical character Abe no Seimei. Nice costumes.



Pic 1: Red Cliff
About the three kingdoms period. Caocao has big army. Liubei, Zhangfei & Guanyu have small army. But they have good tactician Zhugeliang. So with brains and tactics, they win Caocao. Okiez, other than my crappy intro... this movie has very nice special effects, especially the way they portray how the tactics were carried out.

Pic 2: Love of Siam
A story about 2 childhood friends who lost contact. (How come everyone always looses contact?) But they met up again many years later and because of their family situations, they found support in each other and gradually developed feeling of love... but they were both guys... so... of course there's drama... lolz...But apart from that point, I think the director has done a really good job in portraying love in all aspects. Between friends, between siblings, between parents and between couples. A really really touching movie...

Pic 3: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
I liked this one! Coz its an anime... and a movie at the same time! Lolz... Actually I like it because of its story. Its about a girl who could go back into the past. But everytime she changes something, the thing she avoids, happens onto someone else. Things are not as easy as it seems. By the time she realizes that there is a limit to how many times she can leap through time, it was too late. Then she was given one last chance and she uses it to set everything right... A beautiful and simple story that holds a very important message - Time waits for no one... And I love the main character! Lolz... Makoto.. hahaz.. Her expressions, her behavior and best of all... Her Laughter! Ah hahahaz... Ah hahaz.. AH hahaz.. Lolz... Just love her laughter..

Herbology

Got back my 2 tests from Herbology class... 101/100 and 104/100! Lolz... didn't go as bad as i thought i guess... Only thing left is my points class... getting the results on tuesday...think that's gonna be my 1st B ... sadz... And just when I thought I could finally take a breather, Mid terms round II starts next tuesday... =.=... Drowning in the sea of words.... Stress, stress, stress...

Can't wait for Sept to come... Dunno why but Sept seems to be a special month for me... Besides the point that I was born in that month... Lolz... But it was the month I started College in the US for the 1st time in 2001, the month that I entered the millitary in 2005, the month that I became an officer in 2006, and the month that I completed my service in 2007. Now... 2008, its the month that I get to go back to Singapore! Lolz... Counting down... =P

Was chatting with some of my men from military today. Been an entire year since I left them. Seems like things are going pretty well thou. They are going to complete their service in June 09. Hopefully I can make it back for that... it'll be great! But depends on my school schedule. Funny thing is... alot of them always come to me for advice on relationship problems... and even stranger is that the advice I give sometimes actually work! But the greatest irony of it all is that... I'm probably the most inexperienced in that field! Lolz... Oh wellz... Its easy to be the bystander.. hahaz..

Relatives...

Went to visit my uncle today at Moss Beach. Pretty cool house they got. Forgot to take a pic of it thou... lolz... And living there is Uncle Harvey, Uncle Manoon, and my cousins Marcus and Andrei. Don't know why but although I seldom meet up with my relatives, its always cool to hang out whenever I do. Went to take a look at their restaurant as well. Construction is still in progress... its gonna be a seafood and steak restaurant thou... hopefully they have some vegetarian dishes for me... Lolz.. So I helped my cousin Andrei lay out the trays for washing.

Later in the house, we had dinner and because everyone was meatarians... they boiled 6 artichokes to cater to me.. hmm... i think that was a few artichokes too many... just artichokes and rice... had to pack the remainder of the artichokes back as they only ate meat...

Oooh... but I got good news from them too! My Aunt Agnes and my cousin Marilyn both turned vegetarians! Lolz... And I'm being eyed as the main culprit for that.. lolz... And my grandmother here has made the resolve to quit smoking after doing it daily for the past 50 years! She's challenging my uncle to see who can quit first! Lolz. Way to Go Ah MA!!! Jia you! Jia you!

Got back home at around 10pm, and when i walked in, I was shocked to see Sandy sitting in my house watching tv! She had invited herself in when my housemate came back to share about the Oregon trip! That is so scary....

Anyway, think I had too many artichokes... or maybe I am still recovering from shock... can't really sleep... was awake since 3am... its now 6... sigh.. My precious beauty sleep....

Quagmire

Today, Cttb was celebrating Ullambana... and my aunt's place in San Ramon was celebrating my cousin's brithday... Trapped between choosing one of the 2... I made a 3rd choice... that is to stay at home... lolz... Besides, it was the 1st time the sun appeared in months, so I went to take a walk.. a long walk... 5 hours.. Came back exhausted...

Coming back... I was caught red handed... not going to my cousin's birthday. My uncle called and found out I was doing nothing... Lolz.. I had told them I needed to study... I did do a little.. but not much... So he told me to drop by his place tml...

An hour later, Felix calls and asks me over to Andrew's place... I could have gone if it was earlier... but already told my uncle I will go to his place tomorrow... Sorriez... Promise I'll stay over next week =)

Hmmz... I wonder if I'm turning into a hermit... I seem to like to hide in my cave... I mean room... all the time... lolz... Facing the computer thou... watching anime and movies.. heez... Watched more movies this time... all pretty good... Well, will probably introduce them in another post of something...

A Full Life...

Its 080808 today... once a century? a millennium? special day? Hmmz... was chatting with my mom and we agreed, its special only because people say it is.. otherwise, its just the same as any other day... meaning to things are given by people.

Not really doing anything special today, but facing the four walls of my room as always, accompanied by my animes =P. Had a really good chat with my OCS buddy Johnathan Lim. And we were talking about our dreams and I guess we came to an agreement that I was living a full life... a life that is very filling... especially to the waistline... lolz

Shinigami's Ballad

Midterms went.. well.. ok I guess... not a confirmed A, but at least confirmed pass... couldn't concentrate on studying.. maybe what I need is a looooonnng break... which ain't coming.. oh wellz.. make do with what I have.

Watched another new anime today - Shinigami no Ballad. The Shinigami aka "Death God" in this anime is sooo CUTE! Lolz... Among the shinigami's in Death Note, Bleach and Jigoku Shoujo, I think this one is the cutest.. lolz... and she's nice too... hahaz.. Ok... guess this shows how much of a otaku I am (Anime freak)... Talking about girls from anime.. lolz... Its a nice anime though. 6 short episodes with 6 meaningful messages...

The Opening song is really cute too... "I cannot touch you.. but I can kill you...I'm sad to say, but don't put your face so close to me.." Hahhaz... what a line:

Sleepless...

NOt sure why, but I can't seem to fall asleep. Its already 1:30am now. Strange.. Test anxiety? Maybe... but I haven't had those for years... why now? Funny thing is I lay on my bed trying to sleep while my mind races on, thinking of... guess what... nope... not test material... but FOOD! Lolz... Thinking of carrot cakes, roti pratas, mee gorengs, pulut hitam, pineapple rice, fried rice, bee hoon, vegetable curry, curry rice... Argh... I miss Singapore food... Aaron! You better be free when I go back Sg! We shall continue with our nightly supper sessions! Lolz...Sigh... I'm never gonna get thin... =P

Tried making Oden today... ended up with steam boat instead.. lolz... But oh well, either way, still tastes good and is healthy! Nothing much happening in the past few days other than mid term exams since everyone is in Oregon.

Went to the monastery after my paper yesterday and had tea with Ajahn Amaro, Ajahn Pasano and Tahn Chataanando and stayed for the night lecture. Its interesting how everytime they speak, they also quote stories from Master Hua. I guess both Master Hua and Luang Por Chah had great influences in their lives and cultivation.

One more paper tml, then I get to cool off for 2 weeks before mid terms round II. Time flies... Scary. Alrite.. think I should stop procrastinating and start hitting the books...

Master Chiang's

Helped Andrew cut his hair today... disaster... I'm just no good at cutting short hair... probably can only do the long, messed up hair that I always wear... I'm Soooooo (x 1000) SORRY ANDREW!!! So sorry man.... Feel so bad now...

WEnt with Lucy and John to meet Chiang Shifu and Chiang Shimu later... both martial art experts. They are both in they're eighties and both of them can still bring their chin all the way to their toes, without bending the knees! Incredible... I have difficulty even bringing my hands to my toes... Had tea in their garden and they were sharing tips on planting different plants, they had a whole pond of lotuses and rows and rows of bamboos, peonies, magnolias and many other fruit and herb trees. Really cool... There was a nice sun out too... I seem to be obsessed with the sun now... since I dun get any where I live...

Got to meet Felix and Tammy again! They flew back from Virginia to go for the Oregon trip! Yeah... the Oregon trip that I can't go to becoz of my 2 exam papers next week... sigh.... so sad to see everyone all geared up for the road trip tomorrow, and me just walking to my car alone in the dark night... When I finally reached home, the house was empty again, and my room light stopped working again... the darkness, the big empty house, and the cold pacific wind... just makes the loneliness so much worst...

But I guess, the day in overall wasn't that bad. Thanks to Lucy for inviting me to Chiang Shifu's house, thanks to Julia for the big bag of munchies! Lolz... and of course, Andrew... thanks... for even letting me experiment with your hair, and still being so cool despite the mess that I made out of it... =P You're the best! I guess I'll just take this week as another normal week and not think of it too much. See you next weekend when you're back! =)

Ghost month...

Today marks the 1st day of the Ghost month... The month where the gates of hell are opened and spirits are free to roam.. hmmz... And the lights in my rooms are flickering by itself... and my housemates are all out... and the pacific fog is always there swallowing up my neighbourhood...creepy...

Went to Bruce's house to study meridian points today. The place was somewhere in the Mission District - a rather sketchy area where you don't wan to be walking alone especially at night. So I told Lisa I will meet her at the BART station and walk with her to the house. And 1/2 way there, we met Jill on the road and she gave us a ride.

Pretty productive session, there were about 15 of us gathered. We did it in the living room and during the practical part, alot of bypassers stopped to stare... I guess you'd do that when you see 15 guys and girls semi naked in the living room trying to feel each other's meridian channels...Lolz. It was a fun way to study thou...

Ok... my lights are flickering again... i'm scared.. lolz... mayb its telling me i should go to sleep now.. lolz...

getting high...

Stayed back to study herbs with Nicole, Vicki, Lisa and Jill after school today. Realized that there is so much to study... brain fried... Managed to trick Jill and Nicole into tasting the herb I took yesterday, and both their tongues went numb too! Lolz... So fun! Hahaz... I'm evil.. hahaz... so we just went about tasting different herbs, and getting high on them... lolz. Some of these were actually used by people to strengthen the effects of other drugs such as ecstasy. Anyone wan some? They're not available to the public... lolz... buy one get one free!... hahaz... just kidding =P